I’m learning that creativity really does take courage.
I often feel powerless in situations that I find myself in. Whether my circumstances are of my own fruition, or of another’s, learning how to create solutions instead of walking away has been the biggest challenge of mine. I’m so thankful for the people in my life that have not tolerated my small thinking and have urged me on to greatness. I don’t know what I would do without them.
When someone enters your life and completely turns it upside down in all the best ways, cherish them with every given moment, don’t give any opportunity for them to turn away. Love is too pure a thing, and there is no room for fear, shame, doubt or pain.
People have said for centuries that love hurts, it doesn’t, it heals, it builds you up, and if it doesn’t then you’re not doing it right; it is not love that hurts, it is the absence of it which makes the heart ache.
Deep down, I think everyone has had the fear that when they finally get close to someone in a relationship, their darkest secrets will be exposed and then brace for the potential rejection that may follow.
“Will they really accept me and love me for who I am? With all my luggage?”
“Friendship has been a source of great pain for you. You desired it so much that you often lost yourself in the search for a true friend. Many times you became desperate when a friendship you hoped for didn’t materialise, or when a friendship begun with great expectations did not last.
It’s been a while since I’ve been able to sit and post anything here. I think I still have a special fondness to blogging, documenting, and organizing thoughts all in one forum. I like “wearing” the things that I like, the places I’ve been, and perspectives that I share. Posting quirky/sentimental photos and quotes, “liking” things, seeing what other people spend time on trying to cohere. It’s all interesting. Though, sometimes all of this world can be sort of irrelevant to everything else that’s going on around me, I’m still glad it’s going on. (Probably the same way I’m glad that certain sports exist, though I’m not completely invested in them). Having a giant conversation within the context of social media is a game, a show, and simulation. But I like it for what it is.
"I feel the misguided need to confess to complete strangers, or to whom ever it concerns, that I’m not sure who I am right now.
I have, however, found some relief in knowing that I’m not going to stay here. That my mess can (and is being) embraced by people who are safe.
How hard it has been for me to admit: I have not taken care of my heart. I have been irrsposible with my actions. My thoughts are uncontrolled. I have been afraid. I have been critical. Analyzing myself into a cloud of self-help books, judging others, feeling a sense of betrayal and offense. Then embelishing my hurt, while calling it my “story”.”
“How dare I be so presumptuous that I raise my experience above His Word when He’s raised His Word above His name.”
“When suddenly you seem to lose all you thought you had gained, do not despair. Your healing is not a straight line. You must expect setbacks and regressions. Don’t say to yourself, ‘All is lost. I have to start all over again.’ This is not true. What you have gained, you have gained.
Taking note of this home I’m hidden in. I really do love this.
I don’t know if the question is whether the person is a people-pleaser [or not], but it is the why they are.
It is not entirely bad to be pleasing, unless the intent is destructive [for selfish gain/control]. I would highly suggest that most of us pray to see what our own motivations in being kind are.
And I question how easily kindness is waved off as passive and meek, perhaps even weak.
I have found that it takes forward thinking to truly be kind. The sort of kindness that carries seed, the DNA of the Love that Christ spoke into existance. True kindness is incredibly powerful. Potent. Kindness that stems from love does not seeks its personal benefit. It aggresively seeks the benefit for another.
I never thought that a genuine “people pleaser” could exist. But if there is such a person, I think I would find an incredible life-changing and inspirational example of someone who really loved “the least of these.”